Our Sadness

In the intervening time since my last post, we have been so unfortunate as to lose the baby. I miscarried the week of Thanksgiving, and on Thanksgiving day, instead of being able to share our happy news, we busied ourselves in the kitchen to (not forget, but) bury our sorrows. My husband said, "I've learned that it doesn't matter if it's at 5 days or five weeks or years or decades - a loss is a loss." We were devastated. We told our daughter the night that the miscarriage started. We hadn't yet told her we were pregnant, but it seemed like the right thing, to let her know that mom and dad were going through something painful, because she's sensitive to such things. She handled it really well, likely because she learned of the baby's life and death at the same time, whereas we knew of and made plans for our baby for a week before it all came crashing down.

I think my husband and I were partly stuffing it down. Last week Thursday (hmm, the second?) was the first time I broke down and sobbed, and then I did it once or twice more in the course of the day. I wrote a short letter each to my baby, my husband, his boss, my mom, and God. None of them will get these letters, except the last. He knew it before I wrote it down, but getting it out was therapeutic. I told my baby how much I missed him/her and how much and happily we had looked forward to meeting. I thanked my husband for being supportive and understanding, and also for grieving with me instead of thinking me a loony for being so sad at baby's quite early death. I scolded his boss for (basically) telling him he was being ridiculous to find this sad at all, and financially irresponsible to want as many children as the Lord would bless us with (ugh - we tried 4-1/2 years to get pregnant! It sure would seem like we're not going to have a dozen or two, don't you think? He and I come from large families - 8 and 6, respectively - so we wouldn't at all mind having a vanfull). I ranted at my mother, who is divorcing my father (bailing on him in quite a non-Christian manner), which ticks me off, so I'm not talking to her except when I have to - and now, when one would usually go to one's mother for support and comfort, I can't even tell her, because I don't want to chance her hurting me more. I told God I don't blame him, and don't need an explanation, but could he please be so generous as to allow us to get pregnant again on the next cycle and keep everything working properly so we don't lose another baby? Please.

Speaking of which, I picked the fasting and praying back up immediately - during my miscarriage, taking only Thanksgiving day off from my normal fasting schedule. I'm sure there are "professionals" out there that would say that was a bad idea (for that first day), but what do I care? I rely on God, not my food.

Here's hoping (but mostly praying and fasting) that we'll have good news by Christmas.

Baby Made (or "The Generosity of the Lord")

I haven't been on in 2 months - they've been very busy, and I didn't have the time, but when I realized yesterday that my prayer was answered, I knew I had to get here and give God the credit he's due. Back in September I decided to do for my hubby what he had done for me, fast two days a week while praying for another baby, as hubby was quite saddened that it hadn't happened already. One cycle passed normally, and here I stand, in the second cycle (in which it seemed to take forever to ovulate - 30 days), pregnant. I haven't had a positive test yet, but I'm only two days late, and last time I was a week late before I got a faint line. But, my bbt is still up, and went higher than it normally does, and I've got all the pregnant symptoms from 2 years (well, almost 3, counting from conception). Sore boobs, tenderness at the low-rise waistline, and a tightness or pressure at my solar plexus, which last time I thought meant my bra was too tight. In addition to that, I have learned since last time that a "pregnant" cervix is high, closed, and soft, as opposed to high and firm. We are quite overjoyed at the Lord's generosity and love in answering our prayer!

I am also quite happy that I've been diligent on our healthy eating program. We started at the beginning of October, and planned to do it for the month, with 5 days "off" that we could take. We decided near the end of Oct. to keep going until Thanksgiving, without any additional days "off", but able to use the two we still had left. I was 175 (at 5'7" or 8"?), which was already down about 7 pounds because I was trying somewhat successfully to eat healthy over the summer. On Michi's Ladder (the program we're following) I've gotten down to, as of this morning, 158. I'm back in my 12's which are a touch loose, and am wearing a Medium shirt for the first time in eight or ten years. I am only 3 pounds above High school weight, though I wore 10's then, being all muscle, and slimmer than now. This is good because over the next nine months I'll be putting on some weight! And after I have this baby, I won't make the mistake of overeating to "have enough" calories for full-time nursing.

My mind has already turned to what to knit for this child, our little "Ziggy".

A Rash from Underwear?!

I've been compelled to put aside my knitting projects to sew for my son.  Yes, I'm knitting for him, but when the Disney underwear gave him a rash on his lower back at the waistband, sewing moved up the priority list.  There's nothing like an under-2 boy saying, "Ow, mama, ow" to motivate you!

I had found a free pattern for briefs online when I thought the store-bought ones would be too big, and dug through my bookmarks to find it.  I decided to use it to make "bikini" briefs w/o a fly, because I have to pull his pants down anyway.  The first problem I had was that they don't list how much material is needed, so I printed the pieces and brought them with to lay on the fabric.  I went with 1/4 yd. (though after doing a lot of cutting, I've decided that 1/3 yd. would be better, cuz the cutting was a scoach tight a few times due to the fabric not being entirely straight), and I bought 4 solids and 4 patterned to mix and match.  The first two attempts at cutting resulted in a piece of fabric that couldn't wrap all the way around him, but on the third try I had the sizing right, so I traced the shape onto a piece of paper.  The online pattern was, for me, just a starting point.

The first pair, on a store-bought cloth trainer.

When I sewed that first one, I found some problems with the fit.  I hadn't made the waistband and leg bands wide enough, so they were difficult to sew, and there was also the ever-present (with trainers and underwear from the store) gap in the leg holes, so that when he sat you could see his whole package.  I widened the bands, and made the leg bands shorter, so they'd draw the leg in more, but I also took some inspiration from daddy's drawer.  Hmm, I found they aren't cut straight, but on a curve, which creates a comfy "pouch".  I can do that!  I made my pattern to have only two seams - one down the center front, and one to connect the front and back crotch - by putting the center back on a fold.  Add the curve, and voila!  The second and third pairs, sewn at the same time, came out perfectly!

The second pair on the first, and my home-made pattern.

10 to sew! (right edge is on the fold)

Happy comfy boy!

Now I have pieces for 10 more pairs cut out ( I found I got about 3 pairs cut per 1/4 yd [next time 1/3 yd] but that's for a boy who still wears 12 mo. pants), and when I have more 1/2" elastic, I'll get them all sewn in a day.  In the meantime, he's wearing the soft (and baggy) cotton trainers.  I hope to share my pattern and instruction on here, for anyone else who is searching for a pattern for some soft undies for their little man.  I just need to figure out how to get the pattern piece on here...

Making Babies

We have a rather unusual way of going about making babies, but it has arisen out of need and experience.  Our daughter (10) was, at one point, my daughter - I was a single mom.  Then I met and subsequently married (in July 2003) my husband and he legally adopted her, and we started trying to conceive on our honeymoon.  We tried for a long time.  DH went to the doctor and, to put it in his words, "found out there wasn't a lot to look at."  We kept trying.

In January 2008, my husband told me he was going to start fasting and praying two days a week for us until I had a baby.  His reasoning was that that's what they did in the Bible when they really needed/wanted something, not as a "payment" for being answered, but more to show that they were serious and it meant so much to them that they were willing to give things up.  I, not being cynical, but out of hope, asked, "and what if I don't?"  His reply was, " then I'll fast two days a week for the rest of my life."  Talk about commitment!

I was probably past the point of conception that cycle when he told me, and at the end, when I was expecting my period, I had about 10 days of aching boobs (that's about 8 more than usual) and started to wonder, but then got my period.  The achiness happened again the next cycle, and I told myself to ignore it, because it didn't mean anything... but then I didn't get my period.  I was charting at the time, and so I knew I was late, and Monday took a test, which came out negative.  The instructions say to wait a week and try again, so... I waited two days.

The Wednesday test came out negative as well, but maybe, possibly with the slightest hint of a line, but maybe I was just seeing the coloring because it got wet and showed through a little.  On Friday, I took a third, and there really was a line, it was faint, but it was there!  When I called my husband at work, he could immediately tell something was up, and when I told him, he was speechless.  I was beaming, and had a feeling he was too.  He said, "I have to restrain myself from jumping on the desk and shouting it out!"  When he came home that evening, he said that a lot of the people in the office had asked what was making him so smiley today.

That was a month and a half after he started, and he continued fasting and praying until little Jasper was born in November, conceived naturally (using nothin' but lovin'), but a miracle child nonetheless. We prayed quite a bit for "Ziggy" while he was growing, most especially for protection and proper growth, because my hormones were low, and there was threatened miscarriage, and in the end, he came through.  Haha - literally!  :)

Here we are 21 months later with a strong intelligent boy, and I've been "ready" to have another for about 6 or 8 months, but figured let it if He wills it.  I had the opportunity to hold a little baby this weekend, and it ignited the warm and fuzzies in me.  Last night, my husband said something to me and something about its sadness and wistfulness struck me.  I asked him about it, and he said yes, he was sad that I'm not already pregnant again.  So I think I will return the favor, and do for him what he once did for me, and, Lord be willing, we'll have another!

First ever Frog

Last night I finished the front band for my hat, and found myself between balls on the sweater.  Wanting to try a new method of joining yarn, but needing to wait for the computer, I finally frogged (unraveled, for you who may not knit) a baby blanket that I had started, oh, perhaps 4 or 5 years ago.  It had a lovely pattern, and was in this beautiful blue cotton yarn.  It was only 3-1/2 inches long, though, put aside long ago after I didn't have the right number of stitches at the end of a row; I unknit and reknit the row, and looked carefully, but just couldn't find the problem, so there it sat.

I came across this UFO (unfinished object) while looking through stash yarn I'd forgotten I had, searching for the right thing to use for a knee-pant trial-run.  Hmm, it's lightweight, cotton not wool, and blue to boot, plus, there are 8 or 9 balls of it - perfect!  However, I cast on some new stitches next to it on the needles to make my gauge swatch, not quite ready to commit to frogging... that was two weeks ago, and today I finally worked up the nerve to slip it off the needles.  Okay, I *would* have slipped it off the needles, but I used to knit *so* tightly, that I had to pry it off!  I don't have a niddy noddy, and my chairs are wider at the top, so I wound it gently around the laptop screen  while I was waiting for it to start up.

Now it's soaking in the water-bath, and after I gently press out the extra water and it hangs to dry, it will be lovely and straight and ready for use!  It's kind of funny, but I feel a sort of peace and calm about it, even a happiness - and why not?  To have such yarn revitalized, no longer languishing in a drawer, and being lovingly created into something new feels so refreshing.  It gets a second chance at life!

Three at Once!

Well, normally I would frown upon this, but I'm doing three at once.  Knitting projects, that is.  I don't usually have more than one on the needles at any given time (not counting ones that are permanently hibernating, waiting for frogging), but I am very energized by last weekend's visit to Stitches - so much so that I added a bunch of patterns to my queue on Ravelry, and purchased even more yarn online at WEBS specifically for some of these patterns.  (Impatiently waiting for it to arrive, but selected regular shipping...)

In addition to adding these "future projects", I am knitting a hat for ds, a sweater for ds, and finishing the cell phone belt for me - I had to wait until I purchased my buttons to start the buttonholes.  The sweater is a Twisted Tree pattern  in medium gray, and I'm halfway up to the underarms since I started Wednesday.  The hat is the Salute Hat (you must sign in to Ravelry to view this page) by Kate Oates of tottoppers and it's a kal (or knit-a-long) that is in warm brown with hints of pink, with rather large buttons on the band.

My daughter, having seen the pictures for the hat, wants me to make one for her, "and one for you and dad too, so we'll all be matching.  And then you could make us matching sweaters too..." at which point hubby and I chime in and point out that "matching" hats (she'll allow us different colors) might be fine, but sweaters too was a bit much!

The pattern for Salute will be available for free until September 17, 2010 through the KAL on Ravelry. (Again, as it's on Ravelry, you'd have to join  - it's free!- to see this page.)  Maybe you'll join us!

Stitches Midwest 2010

Check out this haul!

I was up late Thursday night, waiting for a virus scan to complete, when I came across  Stitches Midwest being in town Aug. 19-22.  I realized in an instant that "it starts tomorrow!"  First thing in the morning I called my friend Debbie to see if she could go, and talked to my husband about watching the kids, and by midday it was set. Yes!  On Sunday I would finally be going this big fiber fest!  I got "prep" info about what to pack from a forum, and got set to go.

What a BLAST!  We had 3-1/2 hours 'til it closed, so we got busy and made a once-through, and then went back for the must-see/buy items.  I bought a whole bunch of bamboo circulars and dpn's at truly awesome prices, two new patterns, a skein for socks, two different skeins for a hat for each of my kids, and a Fair Trade basket from Ghana.

Half an hour before closing, I found a booth with such amazing prices on Merino that I couldn't believe it - I'd hit the jackpot!  $3 and 4 per skein?!  It usually runs $9!  I was so glad I'd been told to bring the yarn information for patterns that I wanted to do, because now I could afford the yarn!  I feel like a whole new world opened up for me, in terms of items I could knit, because it would no longer cost $120+ for the yarn for a sweater!

For a few moments, my mind went mad as it tried to consider 4 patterns and yarns for them all until I focused it - ONE project at a time, I told myself.  I was hurrying, because I was concerned about running out of time, and the folks working the booth were especially helpful, letting me know if the size required was worsted or DK, directing me to the proper section for superwash, and figuring yardage differences so that I wouldn't find myself 1 ball short anywhere.  There was only one project that I couldn't get enough balls for because it took 5 and they only had 2 in the color I wanted.  The young woman working there said I could order it online, and I said "at THESE prices?", and she said yes, and brought me a catalog.  I'm telling you, I was in yarn heaven!  THANK YOU,WEBS!

I finished up at Webs just one minute before 4, and was (semi-frantically) trying to locate the booth where I'd seen linen yarn that I wanted to try, when they came on the PA with the announcement that they were closed.  I was a little bummed I couldn't find them, when Debbie said, "I'm sure if you want to buy something, they'll let you." and said she saw a display down the aisle that looked like it could be it.  Sure enough, she was right!  It was them, and they were, of course, still willing to run my card!

It wasn't until we were walking out the door that I realized how tired my feet were, and then, as we sat down in the car, how tired our backs were too!  We were so excited about our yarn purchases that we wanted to start knitting right then and there, in the parking lot!  The adrenaline-like high held up until we were halfway home, when hunger kicked in.  Fortunately, my wonderful  husband was making dinner and it was ready a few minutes after I walked in.

We are definitely going again next year, and we hope to remember about it in time to sign up for classes there, and just stay at the hotel.  Debbie remarked that every time she walked past somewhere, she noticed things she hadn't seen the first time, and I found that to be true.  Next year, we'll make a weekend of it!

*These conventions are held every year in CA, GA, IL, and CT.  Check them out online at the above link to find out when they're coming near you!

So much to knit, so little time!

After I finished uploading pictures of some of my knits to Ravelry.com today, I got to searching through patterns and seeing some random "finished projects".  Boy, do I have the knitting bug now!  (And these are all intended for my son - the rest of us are too big to knit these clothes for, too many skeins!) I saw this cute little pattern for bloomers for little girls, and I just wish I had a toddler girl to knit them for.  But, (as someone else suggested) a similar design would be boys' knickerbockers, or knee pants.  I've already bookmarked a photo to model them after, and taken some measurements of my boy!

And there are some really cute hats, I want to do an owl and a snowman from Susan B. Anderson.  Don't forget about knitted overalls!  Plus some comfy lounge pants.

Then for my daughter, whose inflatable "minion" from "Despicable Me" is leaking air, I need to knit a stuffed minion of proper size!

GET ME SOME YARN, STAT!

Graduation Day

Well, I have to call day 4 of Potty Boot Camp (today) graduation day!  On day 1 in the afternoon he pooped outside on the ground instead of in his toilet.  Today,  he came over and patted me on the leg and pointed at his toilet (on two separate occasions) and there was poop in it!  Yaaaay!  If that doesn't qualify him for graduating, I don't know what does.



He can't pull his pants up or down yet, though he does try - they just get hung up under or over his cute little bum.  He's so proud of himself, and for good reason.



Congratulations, Jasper!

*fist bump*

I love Potty Boot Camp!

Our son is 21 months old right now.  I heard too late about EC (Elimination Communication) to use it, but back in June's issue of Parenting there was an article about Dr. Suzanne Riffel's "The Potty Boot Camp".

It got my attention, so I ordered the book (there's also a version you can download for $5.95).  It's very simple, very straightforward, and very cool!  Let me just say, summer is definitely the time of year to do this - it makes clean-up SOOO much easier!

The basic idea is you devote a couple of days to "hard-core" training.  Plan to stay home all day, and expect to clean up some messes!  The big thing is self-initiation, when they head to the toilet and "go" on their own.

We started Monday, 10am.  Final tally:  8 accidents, 1small leak that he stopped and finished on the toilet, and 9 complete successes.  He also had a poop off the toilet, while we were outside (thank you, Jesus!).  Hubby and I figured this for a very successful first day!  Why?  Jasper became aware that he was going, started to become upset during/after accidents, and also started coming to tell me about accidents.

On Tuesday he was up at 9, and we started right away.  For the "morning session" which lasted 'til his nap at 1:30, he had 2 accidents, stopped a small leak, and had 5 successes, including staying dry during lunch.  Self-initiated success (SIS) was the first event after his nap!  Way to go, Jasper!  Here's where he got super impressive - Elise had a birthday party to go to.  We had to leave at 5, and it was a half-hour away.  He went at 4:50, and stayed dry until he went on the toilet there at 6:30, then stayed dry again until 7:50 when we got home! Admittedly, I didn't bring a bottle in the car, but he did have some water while we were there. (Yes, I was shirking from possible accidents, but can you blame me?  He wasn't in a diaper, just cloth training pants and pants, and though I had a cloth diaper folded under him to protect the car seat...)

Today, Wednesday, he started by catching a tiny leak and sat to finish. Then from 10:39 to 12:52 he had 6 SIS (for one he got SO upset, you could almost hear the, "but, but..." - he sat but was in a hurry and ended up pointing up and made a puddle - I couldn't help but laugh) and no accidents. But then at 1:25, 1:30, and 1:43 he had accidents - what was going on?  Oops, I realized, he's ready for a nap, and too tired to control it. After a 2-hour nap, he's back in the game and going strong.  Thank you, Dr. Suzanne Riffel for the Potty Boot Camp!

No pockets? That's okay - just make one!

So I've found myself lately with this problem.   It's a summertime problem.  See, I normally keep my cell phone in my pocket, but in the summer I don't often have one to put it in.  If I leave my phone in my purse, I miss calls 'cause it's in the garage, so to keep it with me what do I do?  Well, I've been tucking it into my bra cup on the side, but who wants a square boob?  So I decided to knit a pocket on a belt that I could wear.  I'm currently doing Potty Boot Camp with our 21-month son, and can't do much else in the 10- and 20-minute intervals, but I sure can knit these short rows!  I improvised a pattern (for my LG Shine) and here it is.



Cell Phone Belt

I used some stash Debbie Bliss Rialto Aran in dark grey and size 6 needles (dpn's because they're conveniently short). Gauge 5-1/2 sts/inch (I never bother with checking rows, so I can't tell you that).

Stockinette pocket with a seed stitch border on the top edge, flap, and belt.  This is knit down the front, around the bottom, up the back, and over the top flap.  A belt and wide belt loop are knit separately and the loop sewn on.  I will use a magnetic closure for the flap, and buttons on the belt.  Seed stitch is knit 1, purl1 every row, but not lining up the knits and purls, otherwise it'd be 1x1 rib.

C/o 19 st.
Rows 1-8:  Knit 4, seed stitch 11, knit 4.   Purl 4, seed stitch 11, purl 4.  Repeat for the next 6 rows.
Row 9:  K4, p11, k4.
Rows 10-21:  Continue in Stockinette Stitch for 11 rows.
Rows 22-31:  (still in st. st.) k to last 5, k2tog, turn work, slip first stitch, p to last 5, p2tog, turn work and slip the first stitch.  Continue the same way - getting one closer to the edge on both sides each time - until the decrease happens on the both edges.
Row 32:  ssk, k to last three, k2tog. Treat last stitch as below.

Now, at the end of EACH row, slip last st to right needle, put left needle through the edge 2 rows up the front, transfer slipped stitch back, and work them together as one, turn, slipping first stitch. Continue this pick-up decrease in stockinette until the top edge is reached. (When I worked purl rows, I turned it inside-out to work easier, and flipped it back to work knit rows. It’s quick, just a little poke of the fingers.)

Do one row reverse stockinette (purl instead of knit).
(Work in Seed stitch from here to the end.)
Work 9 or 10 rows (however many needed to wrap over top of phone to the speaker at the top).

Next row bind off the two middle stitches (unless you ended up with an odd number, then b/o 3) and continue, casting on replacement stitches above those bound off. (Here I used ONE twisted c/o and knit into the front and back of it on the next row - those twisted ones tend to be loose.)
Continuing in seed st, work rows to about where seed st ends on the front of the pocket (use your phone to check the fit - for mine it was about 8), ending with a wrong side row. (If you want to put in a buttonhole, do it the same as for the speaker hole, about 7 rows later.)

Now, work short rows: work seed pattern to next-to-last, turn, slip first, and work seed pattern to next-to-last, turn, slip first. Continue like this for second-to-last and third-to-last on both edges. After turn and slip, seed pattern to end. Cast off all stitches (should be on wrong side).

I’m using a magnetic closer for mine.

Knit a narrow (preferably 1-1/2 or 2”) strip for a belt, using your hips as a guide for length. (I’m doing seed stitch to match, but a 1x1 rib would probably work well too - just don’t do stockinet, as it would curl). Account for the stretch in the fabric when you determine length, and make sure there’s enough overlap to put in 3 buttonholes and 2 buttons - that makes it a little adjustable. Or, make it plenty long and tie it.

Knit a small patch, 8 stitches wide by as many rows as needed to be just longer (by maybe 3 rows) than the belt is wide, and sew it (at the top and bottom) on the back of the pocket near the top. Slide belt through.

Removable belt means that when you replace your phone, if it’s a different size, you can knit a new adjusted pouch and reuse the belt!